Today’s Gospel tells us that great crowds were following Jesus, and he addressed the crowds with the following words: “If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”
Wow!!
These seem harsh and so they are. But let’s look at the culture of the day to understand the meaning for a person from that culture. John Pilch tells us that Jesus has been invited for a meal at the home of a leading Pharisee. The cultural world of Jesus required that people, especially the elite, “eat with their own kind, within their own class.”
The fact that Jesus is often a guest of Pharisees has led some scholars to suggest that Jesus himself was a Pharisee. Whatever the case, he never failed to challenge their beliefs and practices in the interest of offering better alternatives.
This Middle-Eastern understanding of “meals” helps a “foreigner” to understand Jesus’ comments on discipleship in today’s reading,
A follower of Jesus who ceased “networking” by means of meals would jeopardize a family’s very existence. The disciple must then choose between allegiance to the family and allegiance to Jesus.
Choosing Jesus is thus equivalent to letting one’s family go, “hating” the family. Hate is more suitably translated “prefer,” that is, one who “hates” family actually prefers another group to the family.
Recall the tight-knit nature of the Middle-Eastern family. The ideal marriage partner is a first cousin. Sons, married and single, remain with the father. Everyone “controls” one another.
Life in these circumstances can be very stifling, very suffocating. Following Jesus and joining a new, fictive family would be very liberating and exhilarating.
There is, of course, a price to pay for such freedom. In the Middle East, the main rule of behavior is: family first! A disciple who deliberately cuts ties with family and social network will lose the ordinary means of making a living. This is the “economic cross” the disciple has chosen to carry.
True, by joining a new, fictive family consisting of other disciples of Jesus, a “family-hating” person presumably has a new source of livelihood.
No longer able to make claims to a livelihood based on blood ties and advantageous social network, members of this new fictive family have to rely on “hospitality,” which in the Middle East is extended exclusively by strangers to strangers. This risk-filled option is quite a cross to carry.
Clearly, a disciple who has accepted these challenging exhortations will effectively have given up everything. Therefore, a would-be disciple must seriously calculate the costs.
Two brief parables (about construction and waging war) drive this point home. Anyone who weakens and abandons this determination will become the butt of ridicule and shame. A disciple must remain firmly committed.
The behavior Jesus proposes is liberating and heroic but costly. Jesus’ attitude toward family values gives his followers much to think about.
Now that we have a better understanding of the culture of that time from John Pilch, we can understand the true meaning of giving up everything.
Let’s look at today’s culture and how that applies in our lives. Our families here in The United States are not as tightly controlled as the families in Jesus’ time. Some cultures still have that tight family bond and are controlled by the patriarch or the matriarch depending on the culture.
Think about the networking of the individuals through meals today. To be successful we are told that we must network and know the right people. The way to do that is by playing golf, tennis, or some other activity that brings us in contact with others.
Showing up at Social Hour at certain clubs, bars, or country clubs helps us make those connections. Are we really any different from the people Jesus was addressing in today’s Gospel?
What happens if we don’t play the game to make the contacts and be in the “Right” crowd? As John Pilch told us, there are two parables about construction and war that drive the point home.
Whether we are doctors, attorneys, in sales or management, we are expected to follow these rules or face the consequences; passed over for promotion, shut out, or looked on with disdain. That is the price of being a follower of Christ.
Jesus tells us that it is not easy. We are breaking all the norms of society and there is a price to pay for that. Peer pressure can make us weak and give in to the social norms. That is why Jesus stressed that we must be willing to give up everything and take up our cross to follow him. You see there is a price to pay to be a Christian.
Father John Kavenaugh tells us that “Jesus’ recommendation of vigilance against possessiveness comes in one of the harshest passages found in the New Testament, a saying about family life. “If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” We must, rather, take up our cross and follow him in discipleship.
Clearly, he is speaking here of renouncing our loved ones as possessions or as barriers to the redeeming cross. We can never possess another.
It is easy for us to let our families, our children, our jobs creep into positions of possessions. The late meetings at work to impress the manager, the parents who constantly need our help on weekends, so we miss Sunday mass.
We teach our children that it’s ok to miss Sunday mass for a soccer game. Suddenly, we are the ones that Jesus is talking to about our possessions.
As we discern our lives, we too must be willing to give up everything to follow Jesus. In today’s Gospel, Jesus is trying to inform us how difficult it is to follow him, how big a price we must be willing to pay to be called his disciple.
“Am I willing to pay the price? Am I willing to pick up my cross and follow him?”
